Saturday, June 23, 2012

The Non-Existents

There are many words that we as English-speakers use that are not English. I am sure you are aware of many of these. What you may, perhaps, not be aware of is how many words we use that are not English--nor any other language, for that matter.

English is a constantly evolving language. Nobody spoke it at the Tower of Babel because it came into being less than two thousand years ago. English speakers are excessive borrowers and the language we speak now includes words from thousands of other languages, including German, Latin, French, Italian, Greek, Hebrew, Spanish--even Swahili and Hindustani.

I am not adverse to the creation of new words. The contraction ‘ain’t’ should, in my opinion, be added to the dictionary as a contraction of ‘am not’ (especially useful when saying ‘ain’t I?’). Likewise, inventing useful words that have no synonyms already in English is, to my mind, a legitimate public service. For instance, if one is an honorary member of a group, he is enrolled honourarily.

On the other hand, I am not in favour of creating new and ignorant-sounding expressions in replacement of excellent previously-existent English words. The following is a list of such words that have passed into common usage but are not considered correct and will not be found in most dictionaries.

Nother
The word “another” is a determiner and is made up of the two English words “an” and “other.” Some people are confused by its construction and think it is made up of “a” and “nother,” and they sometimes split it into these two parts, especially if a second modifier is involved. The most common result of this is “a whole nother.” Sometimes the a is left off through sheer laziness, as in “Gimme ‘nother one of them cookies.” The word “nother” does not exist and there is never a good reason for using it since we may easily use either of the correct words “other” or “another” instead.

Alright
This is a mis-spelling of the two words “all” and “right” changed into a contraction. I think the confusion arises from words like “already” or “altogether.” The correct expression is, of course, “all right.” No more, no less.

Okay
This odd little word appears to have originated in the 1830s or 1840s as an abbreviation (in its original spelling “OK”) of “oll korrect,” and was made popular by American presidential candidate Martin Van Buren in his campaign slogan “vote for O.K.” (derived from his nickname, Old Kinderhook). But this is mostly conjecture and nobody seems to be completely sure where the word really comes from. It is certain that it originated in America and therefore it has been quintessentially and almost exclusively an American adjective until the twentieth century. The word has now passed into common usage under two spellings. “Okay” however does not appear to be the original spelling, stands for nothing and means nothing on its own account, and is withal clumsier than the two-letter variant. Therefore, in the interests of standardisation, I recommend simply spelling this word “OK.” It belongs in the category of informal English (a.k.a. American) and is therefore only acceptable in informal writing or in dialogue.

Vica
I have never seen this word in print but I have heard it said often, as in “vica versa” (in which the “c” is soft). I searched a Latin dictionary and could not find this word. I also searched an English dictionary, which did not contain it either. The correct phrase is “vice versa.”

Heighth
This word is actually found in some dictionaries as an obsolete form of the word “height,” but it is not used in most English-speaking countries and is proscribed in America. The confusion apparently arises from related words like “length,” “width,” and “depth.” “Height” is easier to pronounce and more efficient, having fewer letters, besides being standard.

Flammable
This word has now passed into common usage. You will not only find it in some dictionaries, but also on every fuel truck, petrol pump, and can of hairspray. It is not a word! The real word is “inflammable” and comes from the Latin word “inflammare.” Apparently, the people who write the warning-skull-and-crossbones-signs thought that ignorant people would read this word and think that the “in” meant that the substance could not catch on fire. Of course it is good to be cautious, especially where ignorant people are concerned, but I still do not consider this a legitimate reason for mis-spelling an excellent word.

Irregardless
I refuse to accept this word. It is yet another example of ignorant people drawing ignorant conclusions from the way a word sounds. Apparently, said persons confused ‘regardless’ with ‘irrespective,’ resulting in this clumsy hybrid. It is never necessary to use this word and there is no logical reason why it should be added to the dictionary. It does not even possess the recommendation of being a safety device.

Snuck
This incorrect form of the verb sneak is an example of how an irregular verb can pass into common usage. Another example is ‘dove’ as an irregular past tense of dive.

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